Two Lives

Ever since I have been looking into the truth and conspiracy world, I have felt like I am living two lives in two different worlds. I climb in and out.

Once you have stumbled into the parallel existence, it is hard to turn back, and that could be why many people don’t want to enter. Sometimes I feel I would like to rewind and not be here. The reason I got here was because I could not turn a blind eye to the endless paedophilia, war, mass slaughter, and slavery that are going on all over the world. And that’s what pulls me back in. I can’t go around in a superficial happy existence knowing what else is going on, and I don’t want to close down my mind and pretend.

The idea of two lives is curiously similar to the school/home, or work/home lifestyle we are all conditioned to from a very early age. Most people are programmed to be working to orders in one life (serving others, receiving money), and treating themselves to leisure and reward in the other life (being served, spending money). My double life does not involve money, but it does feel like two different worlds, with different sets of people. I feel split in two, and a more blended seamless life seems quite attractive.

I notice that my “home life” is mostly off the Internet, time doing everyday physical tasks, many of which I enjoy, earning some money to pay the essential bills, being with friends and family, and others I meet along my path, and being in touch with nature. Both the human spirit and the earth spirit are a big and valuable part of my home life. Every day I see examples of human love and kindness around me, amongst the trickery and programmed behaviour that we all still fall for.

My “work life” is mostly on the Internet, totally disconnected from the earth spirit, and with a weak form of human spirit, connected mostly via machines, the internet thereby being the middleman between us all. The machines have been made by the kind of slavery I am fighting against. I dislike the physical process of sitting at a computer, and I dislike the electronics and EMF interference created by the Internet world. The Internet world is more analytical, governed by words and images. The words and images are narrow, and limit my mind.

So why am I still here?

When I spend too long off the Internet, I find I miss and crave certain things, I almost feel ill without them. I miss writing, researching, and interacting with people who are also on a journey to uncover the truth. At the moment, it feels like the internet is the only place to get this. But if I can transfer these three things into my home life, maybe I could eliminate the Internet from my life and become more whole.

A friend of mine is not on the Internet and has no mobile phone. I had not seen her for several weeks. When she came round, we were amazed to find that our thinking was along incredibly similar lines. We wondered if we are all connecting anyway naturally without the Internet. But we think it is the Internet that is connecting us and holding us together because that’s what we are using, that’s the evidence our five senses tell us is true. The internet machines get the credit for connecting us. We feel dependent on the Internet to connect us, and fear and panic set in when we think it will be taken away from us.

Surely if machines can do this kind of connecting, then so can our fantastic human brains?

People want to write, to output, to speak their mind, to scream out. A friend who is a poet tells me that a poetry magazine has 4,000 subscribers, but 60,000 contributers. Our voice has been blocked for a long time, we have not been allowed to speak. I find it easier to write than to actually speak what I want to say. But I notice I am speaking out more often, in more places. And one day I will learn to trust in the power of transmitting my thoughts by my mind alone. And by “speaking” in the way I live my life.

When I am out and about, I learn all sorts of things. The land is like a book. The buildings have a story to tell. Interactions with people I meet give me all sorts of information if only I tune in and pick it up. Nature provides many answers by its example of how things work. There is a joy in nature that you don’t get on the Internet. And there is a fear on the internet that you don’t get in nature.

So maybe I don’t need the Internet to connect and research and speak my mind ? Maybe there are other ways, better ways. Maybe one day I will become more whole and have just one life.

(See also earlier posts: Light and Dark, Why I Need Money, Nature’s Free Internet, Mind Your Own Life, Invasion of The Telescreens, Joy and Fear, Stop Watching)

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9 Responses to Two Lives

  1. Nixon Scraypes says:

    The computrid and the squinternet are awful.When the goverment make it illegal to walk forward we will walk backwards but go where we want to go, if we know where we’re going.While we are reversing we can talk to each other and remind the forgetfull that we are going backwards.If we walked forward we’d be correct but unable to communicate due to being in the chainy place. Suli has reminded me of lots of things,like a girlfriend with a very strong sense of self dismissing indignantly,karma and reincarnation on the grounds that no one and nothing had the right to tell her what to do! Somehow in the blizzard of electronic interference you’re getting through,your voice is heard.

  2. paul says:

    similar wavelength
    love it
    paul

  3. suliwebster says:

    Thanks, both of you. Funnily enough I have had a good day doing a lot of Internet writing today, and was reluctant to return to my “home life” ! I have a long way to go to wean myself off the Internet, and maybe the process is partly linked to how much others are doing the same.

  4. It can create tension – I agree. I’m battling myself to place more structure around online and offline time – and I believe many will also have this struggle. What is most essential – is we keep our minds independent – and the internet has given us the opportunity to connect on ideology alone – minus the noise and ‘clutter’ of other forms of media.
    Independent thinking together with collaboration are now more vital than they’ve ever been in centuries. And the reasons for that are becoming ever more clear every day..

    • suliwebster says:

      I find the Internet can flood my mind with clutter too if I am not careful. I have recently cleaned up my Internet space, by unsubscribing from most things, so I don’t get an invasion of demanding emails. I now just visit online places when I feel like it. Online life is now somewhat calmer.

  5. George Silver says:

    Love it or hate it the internet is here. The internet is still like the American frontier. There is still freedom but dangerous at the same time. Without the internet our “controller’s” propaganda would be total.
    For instance. The Boston “bombings” and bombers as presented by the mainstream media are completely “scripted”. The internet alternative has managed to uncover conflicting evidence.
    There is at this moment (probably not for long) a YouTube video where the guy who “supposedly” had his legs blown off is seen having his prothesis pushed back on because it had fallen off.
    There is a picture of the “bomber” hiding in the boat being arrested without a scratch on him who was later shot in the throat. There are the three “military” guys in Boston with a back-pack (similar to the bomb) and high tech communication equipment who were posing as police officers being interviewed at Sandy Hook.
    Without the internet non of these stories would ever see the light of day. The internet is the last frontier of freedom don’t let “them” control it. Don’t let “them” make you retreat into your comforting little world that will become smaller and smaller.

    • suliwebster says:

      The Internet certainly has its uses, George.
      I think these Boston Bomber alternative stories maybe intended to see the light of day, and before long the mass population will be fed them too. It’s all getting very obvious, as if they want us to know. What then? Reality and illusion become very blurred, no one knows what to believe any more, because our trusted information feed is not what we thought, and we have forgotten how to work things out for ourselves. If the Boston bombing was fake, acted, then maybe the World Wars were too? Time to rewrite history, replace history. Wikipedia is already working on the new version. And the people that remember the truth, from their own experience, are dying out.
      Our own experiences and observations are our most reliable truth. If we don’t bring ourselves back to that, we can be programmed with a load of replacement “truth” , a new version, updated daily. That’s why I think that ultimately the Internet will not be so great, I see it as a stepping stone to an understanding of how to take back our own power.
      I also think there are real life stories with real people going on in our own street under our noses. We completely miss those if we are too busy looking at the world stage, whichever angle we look at it from.

      • Anonymous says:

        That last comment is particularly aposite Suli. We need to refocus back on community rather than the global ‘Truman Show’. From small grass roots gatherings we gradually rebuild our shattered and interfered with lives into something better. That’s how non-western civilisations have survived – but are (of course) still under threat. International anything needs close scrutiny – because (of course) none of it is what it seems. It’s all filtering resources and with it power in ever more large quantities into the hands of an ever smaller number of people.

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