Bits of Paper

My life is ruled over by bits of paper. I look at the new three inch square bit of paper fixed to my window which is my boat license… it’s a very expensive bit of paper, it cost me over £700 for that tiny bit of paper, not even A4 size, what a rip off ! Then I realise that the £700 was actually another bit of paper, a slightly larger one, the size of a cheque. I swapped one bit of paper for another bit of paper. To get the license I also had to provide evidence of other bits of paper, the insurance bit of paper, and the boat safety bit of paper.

Though they didn’t even send me the bit of paper this time, I just got an email and had to print it off myself. I suppose they thought they were saving paper. Paper must be saved !

I expect your life is much the same. It is a bit of paper merry go round. We all just push paper round and round, lots of paper, reams of paper.

Squiggles…
It is not the bits of paper that matter so much as the black squiggles printed on them. Egyptian hieroglyphics really. The squiggles tell you exactly what you are and are not allowed to do, and exactly who has authorised it. Providing we are all well trained in literacy of course.

Time and Date…
Here comes the Time Lord again ! Nearly all these bits of paper in my life have a time and date stamp on them, so methinks that the Time Lord is the ultimate RULER, above The Pope. Anyone who works with paper needs a ruler, that is what we are taught at school. How can you rule straight lines without a ruler ?

Reams and Realms…
A modern REAM of paper is 500 sheets, it used to be 480 sheets, but we no longer have Imperial Emperorial measures, it is all neat multiples of ten these days. A REALM is the ruling Monarchy or Papacy that we live under. We are underlivings, underlings, underlined and overruled by Paper. At the top of the paper tree is the papal Pope.

Paper Sea…
We are swimming in bits of paper, or are we drowning in it ? Papacy rules the world. The Pope is the “Holy See”, see what I mean ?

Pulp It…
Paper is made from wood or cloth pulp, bits with water added and mixed up. It’s a sea of paper really, then it is framed and dried out to make the paper sheets. The Pope and the Vicar and any other pontificating person, like a headteacher, will speak their paper bulls from the “pulpit”. They usually read from bits of paper. Obviously the Paper Ruler will need a pulp pit to make his paper.

Paper Bulls…
Papal bulls are written on paper. They are instructions from the Paper Ruler on what we should do. Papal pontifications. They were once written on skin called “vellum”, which seems like the word “veal”, because it was made from calves, probably bleached calves to make the paper whiter. Well not just calves, “any mammal”, including human children. You can see how the word “calve” comes about, To carve up the calves. Who’s going to carve today ? So the first paper was skin, and then paper was made from cloth, and nowadays it is made from trees, which are killed and carved up for paper.

Roman Realm…
Romulus defeated Reamus and founded Rome, which is today centred in The Vatican. Perhaps Reamus got turned into the very first Papal Bull, perhaps Reamus was carved up into 480 sheets of papery skin, skinned to make paper. (Please see Romans Remain). The Romans love straight lines and squares and whiteness, and you can see these things manifesting in paper. Square white lined paper.

White Sheets…
Is it cloth or is it paper ? All posh bed sheets seem to be white, Roman style, and people at Roman toga parties use white sheets to dress themselves up. The poshest sheets are made of linen, which looks like LINE to me. The most important white sheet is the sheet of the marital bed, which is a SQUARE bed (or even a cube if it is a sexy four poster). The white sheet shows up the blood spilled by the marital night act of war. The groom traditionally displays the blood stained white sheet the morning after, as evidence of his achievement at taking the virginity of his bride by pricking her, just a little prick won’t hurt, what a night, what a Knight. And these white sheets are made of cloth, like earlier forms of paper, …or flags. The St George flag, The Knights Templar flag is exactly this trophy of victory. Hospitals and hotels boast white sheets too.

White as a sheet…
Or is it skin ? White as a sheet means your skin goes white, drained of blood, it means you are frightened or scared, or is it sacred ? Sacred papal bulls are scary. Someone is reigning terror over you. Teachers used to hit kids with their ruler, probably some still do. Teachers are mini versions of pontificating popes, lower down the paper tree, ruling by paper authority. Training starts young. Teachers train to get certificates (bits of paper) which gives them a permit to teach the subject of paper to kids.

Licenses and Permits…
My paper boat license is useful because it gives me exemption from persecution. I used to think it helped pay towards essential waterways maintenance, but I have since learnt otherwise. I buy my license to give me a few months free from nazi style harrassment. It is a very effective device, the rulers make up random rules, then you have to pay a fine if you break a rule. Or you can be a goody goody law abiding citizen and buy a permit to break the rules in advance. The rules only apply to people who have not bought the permit to break them. So they are not really rules that matter are they ? They just create different classes of people. Permitted people, and not permitted people. Good people and bad people.

Tickets…
Then there is the bit of paper bus ticket and the TRAIN and the plane ticket, all dated and time stamped. I am not allowed on the bus even though it has space unless I have a ticket. No ticket means persecution, imprisonment. So many crimes are simply crimes of paper. To get a bus ticket bit of paper, I need a money bit of paper. Aaagh, am I going round in circles ?

Passports…
To get a plane ticket bit of paper, you also need another bit of paper called a passport. To get a passport, you need a birth certificate. You can’t move about without bits of paper, oh no. Ilegal immigrants are criminals because they don’t have the right bits of paper. Immigration is allowed for some isn’t it, so it can’t be a problem to the authorities, it is not a crime. You just need the right bits of paper to make you a permitted immigrant, an immigrant with a permit to be here.

Birth Certificates…
You can see the incentive to register the birth of a child. How on earth is a child to survive the world of paper rule without that initial initiation bit of paper ? One bit of paper leads to another, and the birth bit is the beginning of your paper life. It is date stamped.

School training…
What do you most associate schools with ? Pens and paper ! We are all TRAINed into this paper way of life from very young. Exercise books, text books, endless paper. And because that is all most people can do when they emerge from 14 years intensive paper training, we now have over a third of the UK workforce working in offices. Though to get a job in an office, you probably need a bit of paper called a school certificate that proves how good you are with paper. (Please see Good Offers)

Compliant Compaint…
Yes I have fallen for it too. If you don’t like it, then write and complain on a bit of paper. Every good company has a complaints department. But can you see, that just complies with the bit of paper system we are all penned in by ? Complain and comply are taught in schools too. A complaint also means an illness or disorder, and we are all being made sick (sic) by this paper system. com-plain plain paper, com-ply, paper ply.

Posters and leaflets…
Having worked in schools, I can report that much of school lesson time, any subject, is spent making posters or leaflets. I am beginning to think it is part of the teacher training program. More pointless bits of paper. And so the kids leave school and get jobs making posters and leaflets as they are trained to do.

Bureaucracy…
We live in a bureau-cracy. Demo-cracy is just the polite political front facade. Bureau means office, and office means bits of paper.

Bits of Bytes
Nowadays, we are told, we are going Paperless, Papaless, a female Pope on the way. A female Pope that bites bits out of apples and drinks cider. We are replacing bits of paper with bits of bytes. It’s great isn’t it, you can store far far far more bits in byte form than you ever could on paper. The volume of bits has escalated with the world of computers. 32 bits in every byte, just like a mouthful of teeth. And we have gigabytes at our fingertips. Infinite bits all day every day. A Papal Dream come true.

Profit in The Margins…
The profit is always in the margins. The gap in the margins. Ruled paper usually has margins specially for this purpose. The margin is where the teacher marks up your work and gives you marks out of ten. Ten ? Why Ten ? The margin is the profit made from marking up the price for market. Mark it and profit. The profit is made from prophets, the paper prophets that date and time stamp everything and create the time lag. Aren’t all good prophecies written on paper ?

Justification…
Text can be right justified like the Conservative party, or left justified like the Labour Party, which is plainly wrong because it is not right. Or centre justified. Or perhaps most common of all, self justification… I have to constantly justify my existence by showing my bit of paper license all day every day. Justification is evidence, evidence is legal, and maybe the biggest paperwork system of all is…

The Justice System…
And here we have the Jews and the Jewry, and the Justice of The Piece of paper. The letter of the law overrules. The Judge cries OVERRULED. Every word everyone says in Court is penned onto bits of paper.

Bookkeeping…
…otherwise known as Accountancy, is another big paper game, this time with numbers instead of words. You still need rulers and margins though. Accountants like spreadsheets, they are a sort of grid style chart of numbers, with Row-man style Rows and Columns, like a times table or TRAIN timetable. Squares as well as lines. It is all so straight and Roman and gridlocked, isn’t it ?

Libraries…
…are always present in prisons and schools and cities, and you can see the word Libra, meaning “free”. Haha. “Freely available” like cheese in a mousetrap. Unfortunately that is the same word as “Libra” meaning a pound of old English money, (only abolished in 1971), it is the same money system as the Romans had, L.s.d, Libra, Solidus, Dinari. It is why a pound weight of flour is still abbreviated to “lb”. And why the British pound sign “£” looks like a fancy capitol L. A “pound” is a place where people or animals or cars get impounded or prisoned by the police. It is a bit like pend, pend in, or “penned”. And a penny is money too, like a pen. So you can see that “Libra” means prison, penned in, pounded. Impounded by paper.

Penned in…
Or is it pending ? Offices have in-trays, like your email inbox. And they have pending trays, places to put all the bits of paper. The pending tray is the waiting paper. Waiting is heavy, like weighting. Strange for something so seemingly lightweight, heavy heavy bits of paper, weighting us down as we wait for them all to be processed. Pending, penned in by pen and paper, reams and reams of bits of paper. Before pending trays, they probably used paper weights for all the waiting paper.

Water marks…
Paper often has water marks to identify its source and quality. It has surprised me how much water has flowed into this post about paper. Paper is made using water, lots of water, traditionally at mills on the river bank. A mill race is created to power the wheel. It’s a race, this paper thing, isn’t it, controlled by the miller. The miller is a ruler too, a sort of branch office of the Queen and The Pope. He controls the water and the wheel.

Parched…
Paper is known as parchment… meaning parch mind. The water is dried out of the paper, and the final paper product is dry, like a laundered white sheet. (Please see Washing Machine). It seems that our minds are being parched by the paper system, and that is maybe why too much paper work causes headaches, and why drinking water helps prevent them.

Absorbent…
I get absorbed by bits of paper and bits of bytes, do you ? Maybe it is because I am so watery. Humans are made of mostly water, and it feels like they are soaking us all up with their paper system, dehydrating us, absorbing us into the papal world.

Millionaire Miller…
Water is currency. Paper is currency. Methinks our water is being controlled by paper. Methinks they are stopping the water flow, the river of life, diverting it into a profit making mill race, to make millions and millionaires, those clever people that are so admired in our Paper World because they have made many millions of bits of paper by controlling the flow of water.

A4…
We are ruled over by A4, for some reason the chosen paper size. The A4 road is the London to Bath road. It leads West out of London and is known as The Great Western Road. The Great Western Way is the paper way, administering paper, Western Admin, Parliamentary administration, church ministries, Catholic Ministries, ministering to the world through bits of paper and West-minster. The A4 Road (based on a straight line Roman Road of course), starts at the City of London, where all the money and legal system reside. It goes down Fleet Street, the street of bits of newspaper. It passes our ruler of the realm at Buckingham Palace. It ends up in Bath, the city of water, and the provincial town of the British elite, or is it elitter ?

Litter Race…
There is so much litter around, bits of paper everywhere, littering up our world. PUT YOUR LITTER IN THE BIN… we are told, probably by signs written on bits of paper.

Bin…
In computer literacy, “bin” is the short word for “binary”. See how we have converted our bits of paper litter literacy to binary bit literacy on the computer. Literacy is now in binary form. Are you computer literate ? Now our new form of litter is electronic gadgets. Bits of them everywhere.

The Chinese…
Paper is said to originate in ancient China. The same place that had rulers called EMPERORS. Surely not. Everywhere that has Emperors is part of the ruling paper way, Chinese, Romans, British. You can bet your last bit of paper that the Vatican and Britain and China are all on the same paper team, the one that wants to rule straight lines over us, and probably through us too… Who cares if people get in the way, they are only bits of paper…

Crossing Out…
Some people just need crossing out, don’t they? … jesus for example. Gypsies, Jews, people who don’t have permits.

Daily Paper…
I sometimes can’t believe anyone still buys them, but I witnessed it happening only this morning, someone handing over a Queen stamped bit of paper for a daily deily deity. The paper God, the God of paper. A daily dose, once you have left school, keep up the paper trail.

Stationary…
Have I mentioned trains? Paper timetables and paper tickets all with date and time stamps. Posters and leaflets all over the stations. Train stations are on the Monopoly Board. “Stationary” means to stay put in one place. Don’t Move. Stay-tion. “Stationery” (a good one for failing your casting Spells test at school), means paper. If you are well educated, you can scoff at people who can’t tell the difference between stationery and stationary. I say they are the same. I say that the paper stationery system is designed to make us stay stationary, and make it very difficult for us to move. Other than movement by pre-booking and controlled timetables and authorised bits of paper and money, which gives the illusion of freedom… “Libra”. Freedom for those with permits and the right paperwork, you can see the incentive to work harder at school can’t you ? Paper success means paper freedom. I’ve worked hard for my “freedom”, have you ?

Trains…
The Roman Empire built straight roads. The British Empire (same thing, new name) gave the world straight rails… TRAINS. Training. Education. When trains were introduced, standard time had to be introduced, to fit round the timetables. Schools are training grounds and they have timetables and times tables too. Trains run in straight lines, Roman style. Are you on track ? Trains ported Jews to concentration camps. Trans port means a train station. Trans port does not mean moving, it means control, paper control, it means staying still, waiting. Coincidentally, trains are often late (off timetable) in Britain due to leaves on the LINE, the trees strike back.

Water Gypsies…
Back to where I began this post with my boat license. Here on the canals (a paper controlled bit of straight line water), it feels like we are re-enacting the plight of the boating gypsies 200 years ago, when they were suddenly obliterated by, surprise, surprise, trains. And in partially re-enacting the gypsy way, I am discovering why the gypsies needed money. I now live so frugally that the biggest money expense I need in a year is for my bits of paper, the bits of paper that give me permission to exist. Before the gypsies were herded onto canal boats, they lived in gypsy caravans on the land, and in order to move about they needed permission, and in order to stay put they needed permission. You can’t win, can you ? Permits cost money, more bits of paper, and my guess is that the moving about permit was the cheaper and easier one to get, and above all else, it was freedom from being stationary.

Papal Passport…
The history of European gypsies shows me that they were constantly harrassed and persecuted. Then they found a way round it. They said they were “pilgrims” and they got a bit of paper from the Pope to grant them safe passage through a country on a pilgrimage, brilliant ! With that bit of paper, people treated them differently, deferring to the power of the Paper, and the Papal power. My own paper passport reads “allow the bearer to pass freely”, and has the Queen’s personal authority. It’s not free though, I handed over a lot of other bits of paper to get it. The gypsies had gained temporary exemption from persecution, just as my boat license gives me that exemption today. At some point, the Vatican would have charged money for this bit of paper, and you can see the resemblance to a modern day passport. So the gypsies had to earn money to be allowed to exist, and then it becomes difficult to move, because you need to be near your work to earn the money to pay for the “freedom” to move, and so it goes on, the Paper merry go round money go round, pushing and following bits of paper round and round, and getting nowhere but going round in circles, powering the water wheel that is owned by the millionaire miller.

So here I am, writing more bits. A year ago I said I was finishing this blog, but I find that I still have much more paper to process and sort through in an attempt to reduce the bits of paper I am surrounded by. It’s not going to happen overnight. Papal Rome was not built in a day, and it seems it will not be unbuilt in a day either.

I wonder who I really am away from my paper identity, and if I could exist outside the world of paper that I know so well.

(Please see earlier posts: Follow Instructions, Papal Bank, The Pope and The Queen, Romans Remain, New Times Roman, William’s Slave Pen, Cull The Queen, Universe Cities, Dark Satanic Mills, Save The Date, Keep Up To Date, Time Lord, Time and Place, Time Tunnel, Good Offers, Stuff, Rubbish, Why I Need Money, Black and White and Red, Long To Rain Over Us, Polite Politics, Water Tory Party, Electric Fence, Scan Gate, Washing Machine, Mind Control, The Dyslexics are Right, Holy See Over Bath).

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Bits of Paper

  1. Claire says:

    Hello Suli
    Such a lot of extortion is involved in all these permits and licenses. If you haven’t got this bit of paper then you can’t do this or go there.

    And hasn’t the British government got people well trained! The people do all the work themselves on the computer and print out the forms and they pay for the privilege.

    Next year my son’s passport expires and I am not looking forward to that rigmarole.

    The most important paper is toilet paper, which is made with recyced paper. Now that is paper that is really difficult to live without.

    • suliwebster says:

      Yes, toilet training starts young too…, probably before you learn to read and write…

      • Claire says:

        Hello Suli
        Yes, toilet training starts young and a lot of reading goes on in the toilet, though now most of the reading is done on a device. Just don’t drop it down the toilet!

        What I really meant by my toilet paper comment was how people struggle to meet all the demands made to get these papers and also to pay for them. £700 seems a lot for your permit, but maybe it lasts a long time. Anyway, where does all this paper end up? Shredded and sent to the toilet paper factory.

        To me it’s symbolic of how people are treated by the ones who control everything, run through the mill and then used just for wiping arses and flushed away.

        Maybe you remember the series ‘Lou Grant’, about a guy who works in a newspaper office. It’s very old, though some of the later episodes do have a primitive desk top in them. In the intro to it, it starts off with a bird warbling up a tree, the tree gets cut down and floated to the paper mill and turned into paper, then all the actors names are shown Lou Grant is played by Ed Asner, and then it’s sombody reading the newspaper and then they take a page out and put it at the bottom of the canary cage. It’s ironic just like all the papers people worry and fret over ending up as toilet paper.

        Now forests are sustainable and paper trees are horrid scrawny things that a giant machine turns up and sort of rips them up and takes the bark off and that and then they are put on a truck and off to the paper mill.

        Of course the next step is chipping like with pets. Everybody will have a chip and their bank account will automatically be depleted by readers like in the supermaket and when licenses and that need to be renewed you will just pass your hand over the screen or use your mobile to read a chip implanted in your neck if you have no hands, and voila, everything done and paid for.

        It’s like the mark of the beast that people who believe in the Bible (Buy Bull) go on about. I think it might also incorporated something lethal and when the ones who control everything have had enough of you you will be offed.

        Hope this helps you and all the best for 2017.

      • suliwebster says:

        Thanks Claire. My next post is about Bull, (if I ever finish it!) so your Buy Bull Bible is very timely. Shit is associated with Bull too, Buy Bullshit, and I like the way you show that all paper ends up wiping bums. I have spent the last week or so wondering why I seem to have spent so much of my adult life clearing and cleaning up other people’s mess, symbolically it is like cleaning up someone else’s shit, and I am wondering why it always magnetises towards me, and how I can get out of it and focus on cleaning up my own mess instead. A big version of this is when someone like a parent dies, and the child then has the whole of their parent’s life’s mess to clean up in the form of possessions, and of course Paperwork. Maybe my next stage in life is to be flushed away to the sewer. (The sewage facilities cost money too, we are charged at every stage of the paper go round process). Even if you don’t do the DAILY newspaper ritual, you still have the DAILY toilet paper ritual. (Doctors will think you are ill if it is not daily). Didn’t they once use newspaper directly for bum wiping ? maybe in the war ? Now the process is disguised by recyling.

  2. Noo says:

    A random thought, really, but this post reminds me of what a friend said to me once, about how children hear and interpret what adults say before they’ve been ‘trained’ to understand what certain expressions mean. When she was little they had a very lively dog and her mother kept saying “We’ve got to train that dog”, which used to really upset my friend and her mother couldn’t understand why. It turned out that she thought it meant they were going to put the dog on a train and send him away …

    • suliwebster says:

      Children are much less “trained” than adults. So much of our language is about interpretation, and I think on this blog I am attempting to interpret things in new ways, more childlike untrained ways. The two meanings you describe are not so very different. Training a mind to run in container on a straight line track to time and to order, or putting the dog in a train to somehwere else….

  3. Nixon Scraypes says:

    Keep the dwarves out ! Shut the window ! My daughter’s translation of keeping out the draught !!! Such unnecessary terror for an innocent mind caused by nothing more than the sound of a word having two different meanings.

    • suliwebster says:

      I think words are more terrifying than we are led to believe. Look at the effect that newspapers have on people ! They evoke terror, fear, tears, anger etc etc. Sometimes, maybe always, it is the “sound” or the “tone” of the words that carries the true meaning or message. “Keep the draught out, shut the window” sounds like it may be an emergency, a fearful sound, said as an Order. And that affects the atmosphere. As with Noo’s comment, I think the children are more likely to pick up the true meaning or feeling than we are.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s